How about a somewhat sensible status update?
Returning home was nice at first because my parents set some sort of boundaries between us. Relative arm's length is what keeps our relationships healthy anyways, just like it always has. I tend to bumo heads with them a lot if we see each other too much. I think and act too differently for that kind of closeness, and that I know will never change.
I'm starting to regret coming back, though. I wonder what lie before me when all of that was happening, because now, even at such a distance from them, I feel like a caged dog. The promise of conituning college is alluring, but to do it their way (because I live here and they pay bills and all) I have to work for my stepmom, a notorious figure in the work world that my family has become for being random, attatching people to schedules that never work out, and having inconsistent hours. Some days I work 5 hours because I'm fast. Sometimes I work 8. Sometimes I work from 8-3, sometimes from 8-11 or 8-1am. And to top it off, the work is blogspam and stealing content from other blogs to give us attention. The days we don't spam the internet, we get absolutely no views.
It all seems for nothing. The promise of college tuition and some pocket change lies at the end of this twisted rainbow, but I don't believe anything till I see it. What my family is trying to obtain for our wellbeing costs so much money, and optimism isn't paying the bills.
But I don't care about the money, seeing as how it doesn't (and will probably never) exist. To me, I'm working off my room and board. It's survival until my next stage of life, which will probably come when it's time to go to school.
If I'm not in school by then, then my work will have been for nothing to my parents, but for me I would have made it though the summer well-fed and clothed. If I AM in school, maybe optimism DOES pay the bills.
Only time will tell.
That's the darkest could hanging over my head. Other than that, a couple of old friends contacted me, so when I finally escape this hellish "work" I'm doing I'll be able to rejoin society where things make sense.
I've been having fun with League of Legends now that the ban has been lifted, and I even started playing Act Cadenza Strife and Super Smash Flash 2 again. I think I might try to start streaming soon. See how that works.
When I can get the software to work, anyhow.